I would say, " Don't even get me started!" But I am on a rant, so I am already started. So, buckle up, people! We are going on a ride!
I LOATHE public restrooms. LOATHE! I ABHOR public restrooms! When I was younger, I trained my body to only have bathroom urges before and after school. I really can't remember EVER using the bathroom at school. EVER. I remember one time that I took a social trip into the bathroom...you know, girls can't go alone....but, that was MOST DEFINITELY the last social trip, because someone had pooped on the floor!!!!! Right in the doorway to the girls' bathroom. Oh, you cannot make this stuff up!
There is nothing glamorous....or even remotely intriguing...about a public bathroom, in my opinion. They are a cesspool of disease and germs and awful smells. Only in the case of an extreme emergency should you resort to using a public restroom. They are a disgusting, horrendous atrocity to be avoided at ALL COSTS!!!
SOOOOOOO....WHY DIDN"T SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO MY CHILDREN????????!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, they seem to need to visit EVERY bathroom of EVERY establishment that we EVER have the displeasure of visiting. Is this NORMAL?????!!!!
Lane(9) runs into the men's room before I can stop him, and, of course, he, like another man I know(ahem), feels the need to spend 30 minutes on the toilet. In a PUBLIC BATHROOM. First of all, gross. Secondly, I can't go in the men's bathroom to check on him. And my imagination starts to run wild. So, here I am, pacing outside the men's room, trying to decide how much longer I give him before I go marching in there to investigate the situation. I mean, there are some freaky people in the world. If you catch my drift....I know, I know...I can't make him go with me in the girl's bathroom forever...but....I HATE PUBLIC BATHROOMS!!!!
And Eden? Well, Eden (7) likes to wait until you have 200 dollars worth of groceries unloaded onto the conveyor belt(after you have shopped for an hour and a half, and stood in line for 20 minutes) before she declares that it is an emergency and she is going to have an accident if she doesn't get to go right then.
My three year old knows where the bathroom is in every restaurant and store within a 30 mile radius. As long as we have been there once before, the bathroom is ON HER RADAR. She pitched a FIT within moments of entering Kohl's the other day. She remembered that they had a child sized toilet.
As a general rule, when we are out to eat, my children are not allowed to go to the bathroom during the meal(because, let's face it...I know my kids, and I know that their bathroom"emergency" is actually a diversionary tactic used to get out of eating.). But, we were out with my grandmother, and she insisted that I should not make them wait to use the bathroom. In front of them. Well, now that they knew that they had a sympathetic ear, it was OVER. They poured on the drama. So, I gave in, and took Ava(3) to the bathroom. Immediately upon entering said bathroom, she says, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...this is CUTE!!!"
Excuse me? CUTE???
I HATE PUBLIC BATHROOMS!!!!!!!
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Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I did respond to your comment but with Typepad I don't know if my response gets e-mailed to you. The Love Dare is awesome and I think everyone should read it.
ReplyDeleteWhat a hysterical story! My hubby was the same way about going to the bathroom when he was in school. He WOULD NOT go while at school. He does the same with his job! He holds it all day and only goes when he comes home. I don't like public bathrooms either but I'm one of those tiny bladder people and always have to go. So, I always have to know where the bathroom is when I go out.