Monday, August 31, 2009

the Journey

I recently stumbled onto a blog that humbled me. Broke me. I gained a heart for something that I thought I was pretty hardened to. When I say hardened, I guess I really mean desensitized. You know....there's starving kids in Africa. You start to hear it so many times that it becomes trite....loses its effect.

Visit Katie's blog to be blessed in ways unimaginable. I really have no words that aptly describe this young woman and her ministry. Nothing short of amazing. So, I will just ask that you visit her blog. Follow her blog. And if you feel led, support her ministry.


And, on a much lighter note.....

As we were finishing up dinner tonight, my mom says....

"Somebody needs to hit the bong!!!"

(There is a Asian looking GONG on the piano in the dining room. Yes, I knew what she meant to say. But, BJ and I laughed hysterically at her anyway. It took her a few minutes to catch up.)

Friday, August 28, 2009

Five Question Friday

It's Friday! YAYA! That could only mean one's time for FIVE QUESTION FRIDAY!!!

I know you are excited! Brought to you courtesy of Mama M, Five Question Friday is easy-peasy and super fun! So link up down below, and copy the questions to participate.

1. What is your favorite Holiday and why? (Thanks, Keely! Yup, same Keely as above!!)

2. Who has been the most influential person in your life?

3. If you could give up one household chore forever, what would it be?

4. What is the BEST practical joke you have ever been a part of, on the giving OR receiving end? (Thanks to Meghan, for that one!!)

5. Where (or how) did you meet your spouse?

1. What is your favorite Holiday and why? (Thanks, Keely! Yup, same Keely as above!!)

I love all Holidays! I love dressing my little babies up for Halloween, the tastes and smells of Thanksgiving, and everything about Christmas.

But if I had to pick a favorite, I would have to say that it is Easter. I actually don't care for the Easter Bunny. Dying eggs are about as high up on my list as cleaning out the attic in July. Don't even get me started on filling the plastic eggs. I have nightmares about my kids eating boiled eggs that have sat in the sun for 3 hours waiting to be found.

Easter is representative of the resurrection of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are all imperfect, and in need of His gift of Salvation. Easter is a day to reflect on the sacrifice that Jesus made. He suffered and bled and died. He was beaten until he was no longer recognizable as a man, all while being mocked by a crowd. He was buried, and spent 3 days in hell. For me. I think that people sometimes skip over that last part......but that is the most important part. Hell is the punishment for sin. It is the most horrific place in existence. And Jesus went there. For me. And for you. He had no sin.....yet, He took on the sins of everyone, and accepted the punishment for those sins, so that we would not have to. He defeated death, and He conquered hell and all within it, then on Easter Sunday, He arose!

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

2. Who has been the most influential person in your life?

My Mom. She is my best friend, and my confidante. She is the most sacrificial, unselfish person I have ever known. (Ya know, apart from Jesus.) She is the kind of mother that I could only hope to be.

3. If you could give up one household chore forever, what would it be?

LAUNDRY! The sorting, the washing, forgetting to switch and rewashing, drying, folding, hanging, sock sorting, putting away. Laundry for a family of 5 could be a full time job. I seriously don't know how larger families get it done.

And....why on EARTH can't they come up with a machine that washes and dries!!??!!! Seriously. Let's all write a letter to Maytag requesting this new technology be developed. Really. Why hasn't anyone in the appliance business had this epiphany yet??

4. What is the BEST practical joke you have ever been a part of, on the giving OR receiving end? (Thanks to Meghan, for that one!!)

I LOVE a good practical joke! There is nothing quite as grand as pulling of a big stinker on someone. Do you know that in some areas, you can be prosecuted for toilet papering some one's yard????!!! Some people have absolutely no sense of humor! When I was a teenager, that was just good clean fun! If you didn't know whose house was being t.p.'d on Friday had better be on guard because it was probably your house!

Anyway....when I was 14, we moved about 700 miles away from home. The next summer, my best friend Sarah came and stayed for about 3 weeks. Little pranks were pulled here and there. Then my cousin Erin came for the weekend toward the end. They both fell asleep early on Saturday I gathered ALL of their underwear and bras from their suitcases, placed them in a large garbage bag, filled it up with water............and put it in the deep freezer.

The next morning, when Sarah and Erin woke up (I was still sleeping, because I had stayed up late carrying out my devious prank!), they discovered what I had done, and proceeded to dump all of my dresser drawers into the pool.

So.....Sunday morning. Church. None of us had any clothes to wear. Theirs were frozen; mine at the bottom of the pool. My Parents = Not Happy.

I still remember my mom sitting there with a hair dryer trying to thaw out a 13 gallon panty popsicle.

My parents laugh hysterically about this story today.

5. Where (or how) did you meet your spouse?

While I was away at college, my parents became members of a new church. When I came home for the summer, they insisted that we go to church as a family. (I wanted to go to our old church, and was very reluctant to go to this new church.) So, off we go to Sunday, with a scowl on my face. And I am put in the college and career class. With a bunch of morons. I was the only girl. And there were 4 guys. Idiots. Pulling chairs out from under each other. Telling corny jokes. It was excruciating. So, on the way home from church that day....I told my parents that I would go to church with them, but that I was NOT going back to Sunday School with those stupid rednecks.

My husband was one of those stupid rednecks. The other 3 were our groomsmen.

MckLinky Blog Hop

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Ava the Fashionista....

As of late, Ava has been exhaustingly demanding in the style and accessory department.

Unfortunately, her imagination outweighs her communication skills.

Example: "I wanna be like Belle!"

Or: "I wanna be like Ariel!"

Also: "I wanna be like Eden!"

And so on, and so on.

The problem is......she seeminly knows in her little mind what exactly that entails. And typically it means that she doesn't want to wear that and I haven't fixed her hair to her satisfaction.

But, she can't tell me why she doesn't like it, or how she wants me to fix it. She tries.....I just don't get it.

She says things like "I want it in the back." I took this to mean she wanted a ponytail.
I was wrong.

Or she will say, "I want it like this!"........while demonstrating some wild and crazy hand motions. I have NO CLUE!

Ava is frustrated. I am frustrated.

Minor temper fits have taken place.

Her new fave response is...."I will wear that tomorrow." (It actually sounds more like "too-mah-woh-oh-oh"....) And it doesn't matter how many outfits you present to her in a row.....she will wear them all ..."too-mah-woh-oh-oh"!

As I felt myself getting stressed about this today, I thought back to a time not so long ago. A time when a different toddler that DEFINED the terrible two's was the terror of my household.

That toddler was Eden. Not only was she MORE demanding in her Fashionista ways......if she disliked what Mama dressed her in, she had the "perfect" solution.

Eden would just pee in the offending outfit. And I would change her into a new outfit. And she was happy.

Manipulated by a two year old.

Sad, sad, sad.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Sleeping Boo-ty

Is it any coincidence that Ava keeps referencing her "Sleeping Boo-ty Princess panties"?

I mean, she does sleep in them.

They go on her boo-ty.

And, she is a Princess.

I rest my case!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

It's Fun to Stay at the Y.M.C.A.......

So.....I worked out this morning. At..........the Y.M.C.A. On the way home, I was thinking about blogging about the Y.M.C.A, and how it was most certainly not fun to stay is BRUTAL. So, as I am thinking about this, I started trying to remember the actual words to the song. Apart from the chorus...and the beginning phrase of "Young man....", I have to say I came up short.

So......I had to ask my husband what the words were........and what the song was about. So, he told me. And I have to say that I was a little surprised. Then he told me to look it up on Wikipedia if I didn't believe him. So.......................................................

"Y.M.C.A." is a 1978 song by the Village People which became a hit in January 1979. The song reached #2 on the U.S. charts in early 1979 and reached No.1 in the UK around the same time, becoming the group's biggest hit ever. Taking the song at face value, its lyrics extol the virtues of the Young Men's Christian Association. In the gay culture from which the group sprang, the song was implicitly understood as celebrating the YMCA's reputation as a popular cruising and hookup spot, particularly for the younger gay men to whom it was addressed.[1]
The song has continued to remain popular due to its status as a disco classic and gay anthem, even among listeners who are otherwise uninvolved in disco or gay culture.

I have to say that I was surprised. I guess I had never really thought about it. Really??!! Why am I just now hearing about this??!! And....why then, other than the catchy arm motions, is this such a popular song?

But, back to the original purpose of my post.....It is NOT fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A. It is NOT fun to go to the Y.M.C.A. I force myself to go, thinking that one will get better. And my abilities have improved.....but I still hate it.

My husband is gym obsessed. He is one of those people that gets up 2 hours earlier than he really has to....just to go to the gym. He runs....and lift weights....and wants to have long conversations about running and lifting weights.....I try to pretend to be interested...because he is important to me, and I should take interest in what is important to him. But, really.......the 5 a.m. wake ups....a little annoying., we went to the gym together. (Not at 5 a.m........I haven't seen 5 a.m. since I had babies that got up at that time to be fed...and even then, I saw it through sleepy slits of eyes that were begging to go back to sleep.....not perky eyes that were focused on the treadmill.) After we tortured ourselves at the gym for an hour, we decided to stop for lunch.

At Wendy's.

I asked him...."Doesn't this defeat the purpose?"

He says....." Nope! That's why we workout! So we can eat junk."

Thanks for clearing that up. My guilt was assuaged.

Yes. I did order a Frosty.

And YES! I did dip my fries in it.

Monday, August 24, 2009

YYYYYYYYYYYummy! Or.....NOT....

Pickled Quail Eggs....since Kimber asked so nicely!

Try not to gag....

Not My Child Monday: Principal's Office, Styrofoam Shreds, and Pickled Quail Eggs

It was NOT my oldest child that found himself in the Principal's office today. He was NOT so disruptive outside in the pickup line that he was sent in to the Principal. The Principal did NOT have to escort him to my vehicle so that she could inform me of the situation. He is NOT in big, big trouble. (I actually did NOT say, "Just you wait until your Father gets home!"....which is NOT something I swore I would never say.)
It was NOT my middle child who shoved her 3 year old sister down to the ground for "saying something mean"; that "something mean" has NOT remained a mystery. We all know how vicious 3 year old's speech can be! It was NOT this same middle child that threw an absolute temper fit when asked to go to a time out period for shoving her sister. She did NOT scream "NO!" at me repeatedly all the way down the stairs. This has NOT been an ongoing issue since birth.....or whenever she learned the word "NO!".
My youngest child did NOT make off with a sheet of styrofoam (from the box of a desk that I was upstairs attempting to put together. Does anyone else feel that ready-to-assemble furniture should have the assembly directions/diagram on the outside of the box, so that you can see what you are getting yourself into....before you are actually into it? At the very least...a difficulty level. Come ON!), take it downstairs...where I thought she was looking at her book and playing with her princess figurines.....and rip it into 5 bazillion little pieces. Did you know that it is literally impossible to vacuum and/or sweep styrofoam particles?
Lane is NOT constantly beggin me to eat the pickled quail eggs that my in laws brought as a gift for their visit. It is NOT sitting unopened on the counter. It will NOT probably hit the trash unopened. I do NOT gag at the mere sight of the jar. It does NOT remind me of a jar full of eyeballs. He did NOT point out to my in-laws that the house next door to ours was for sale...and I did NOT have a mild heart attack.
Ava did NOT recently engage in a number of public bathroom infractions....and she most certainly did NOT walk into the stall and wipe an unknown liquid substance from the seat with her fingers. I do NOT have a major loathing of public bathrooms, and I do NOT avoid them at all costs.
Ava did NOT get another sheet of styrofoam out of the trash and obliterate it....for the second time TODAY.....while I sat here writing this post. I am always observant, and know what each of my kids is doing at ALL times. I have eyes ALL OVER my head!
Visit MckMama to see what other angelic children have NOT been doing. I have to go clean up the styrofoam mess that my daughter did NOT just make. Again.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Lane-isms and other Randomness...

Today at lunch, BJ expressed his desire to watch some which Lane replies, "I think the Kentuckians are playing today."

Hmmmmmmm. OK?? I think my husband needs to invest some time in the football education of our only son.

And a few seconds later, "Can we go as the Peanut Patrol for Halloween this year?"

Say, WHA???? What is with my kids and the random Peanut Characters?? (See: Peanut Pete??!?) We don't grow peanuts for a living. We don't eat peanuts regularly. I have never even bought boiled peanuts off the side of the road!!! What's the peanut fascination about??

That said, we ate lunch out today, and I did NOT have to take anyone to the restroom. (Perhaps my latest Toilet Abuser memo did the trick?! We shall see!)

V for Victory!!

It's the little things in life!!

I survived the In-Laws, and there was little-to-no fallout. In fact, compared with the "Mamaw" visit, it was downright pleasant. Even if we did go to the Bass Pro shop, an antique store, the flea market, and a liquidation outlet......and even if they did buy a HUGE pallet of stuff in a box without knowing the contents. (Picture: Wal-mart pallets in the middle of the aisle....YEAH! One of those. And even if they did allow my kids to unload said BOX in my driveway. We got a couple of air mattresses, snorkel gear ( NEVER know when we are going to go snorkeling!), some flashlights, and more goggles than my kids cold lose in a lifetime out of the deal.

They even brought us a gift!

Pickled Quail Eggs.

Nope. Not kidding.

Friday, August 21, 2009

ATTN: Toilet Abuser...Public Bathroom No-No's

Dear Toilet Abuser,

Being that we had to have a discussion just yesterday, I am a little disappointed that we are having to address toilet etiquette again today. Seeing as how the offense is not the same, I will let you get by with a warning. A stern warning.

When in a public place, please avoid the public restrooms unless it is an extreme emergency. You should already be aware that I detest public bathrooms. (Reference-Things I Hate: Public Restroom Edition ).

In the event of an emergency, the following rules apply.

Never touch anything in the public restroom.

Never say " I don't touch anything, Mama!", and then proceed to wipe drops of an unknown liquid substance...... (Oh Dear God in Heaven....PLEASE....PLEASE ......let that have been water overspray from the auto flush toilet!)....... off of the toilet seat. With your fingers. *shudder*

It is totally unacceptable to announce to the entire bathroom that your mother is going #2.

While I understand that you are accustomed to my assistance with wiping for yourself, I am not in need of the same assistance. Please do not grab a wad of toilet paper and attempt to wipe my rear.

Do NOT open the door to the stall until my pants are up zipped and buttoned. I will let you know when I am ready.

All other rules and regulations mentioned in other Toilet Abuser Memos still apply.


Really Annoyed with Bad Bathroom Habits (A.K.A- your Mom)

Five Question Friday Fun!!!

Brought to us by the one and only Mama M, Five Question Friday is, well, exactly that! Five random questions on Friday. Wanna try? Copy and paste the following questions to your blog, and answer them. Then copy and paste the MckLinky code. Piece of cake? (OOOOOOOooooooooo....I should bake a cake!)

1. What is your biggest Pet Peeve? (Thanks, Meghan!)

2. With no worries about finances, childcare, or travel time...where would you most want to vacation?

3. If your house was in the path of a tornado and you had time to grab 3 things before the house was totally destroyed (children, husband, pets are already out) what 3 items would you grab? (Thanks, A.!)

4. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? (Thanks, Keely!)

5. What is your family's favorite homecooked meal?

And....for the answers!!

1.What is your biggest pet peeve?

OH! There are SO many of these. Mama always told me I was TOO easily annoyed. I could really go on a rant with this, but I think I am going to say that most of my Pet Peeves are derived from people's inconsiderate-ness (YEAH...I know I made up a word. So what?) And the one that has got me going today is when people allow their children to behave heinously in public places. Whether it be that they are running around the grocery store.....darting out in front of my very full shopping cart, or running around in a restaurant (and I am NOT talking fast food, here, people. I am talking sit down, have a server, eating a nice meal restaurant!), or pushing on a playground. I am a mother of young children, and if my children behave badly, they are in trouble. And they know it. I will not say that mine have never behaved this way, but I will say that they know it better not happen again. I didn't smile at the person they offended and say, "Kids will be kids". I want to say back, " Well, those kids are going to be some HORRID adults if someone doesn't teach them some manners!"

2. With no worries about finances, childcare, or travel time...where would you most want to vacation?

I would LOVE to visit Australia. But, I would want to go for a long enough period of time that we could get over the jet lag and enjoy all that there is to see. SO......a month?? Sounds good to me! I only wish we could see Steve Irwin... =(

3. If your house was in the path of a tornado and you had time to grab 3 things before the house was totally destroyed (children, husband, pets are already out) what 3 items would you grab?

Assuming that I would also be able to escape safely, my computer (with all my pics), my scrapbooks, and the kids wall portraits. These things are irreplaceable.

4. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

I had the good pleasure of being able to visit some friends for 3 whole weeks in Hawaii. We spent some time on the Big Island, and it was the most beautiful, relaxing place I have ever been. It is largely undeveloped....or should I say that it isn't overdeveloped....but there are still the modern conveniences and shopping districts that I wouldn't want to live without. The volcanoes, beaches, and waterfalls are breathtaking. While there, we hiked 10 miles into the crater of an inactive part of Mt Kilauea, and it ranks as one of the top 5 experiences of my life.

Soooooo....Big Island(probably near Kona), Hawaii. Final Answer.

5. What is your family's favorite homecooked meal?

This is tough because each person has their own favorite. But, I am going to go with my Cheesy Spaghetti recipe. This seems to be requested a lot lately.

MckLinky Blog Hop

MckLinky Blog Hop

Thursday, August 20, 2009

ATTN: Toilet Abuser

Dear Toilet Abuser,

Toothpaste belongs in a tube. Or on your toothbrush in pea sized amounts.

It does not belong on the counter,

In the sink, or on the floor.

It should not be smeared on the walls.

And, it should NEVER, EVER be spread on the toilet seat.

(I hope those aren't brush marks that I am seeing. I guess we are going toothbrush shopping!)


Your Mom (A.K.A.- Really Tired of Cleaning Bathrooms)

The In-laws Are Coming! THE IN-LAWS ARE COMING!!!


They will be here tomorrow.

Pray for me.

My Mother-in-Law lacks tact. And sensitivity. And mind-your-own-business-ity. And foot-in-mouth syndrome. And my opinions are the only opinions-ology.

But, she is funny. Sometimes.

And they will only be here until Sunday.

After my grandmother's visit (*shudder*), I can do anything!

And I should have LOTS to blog about after they leave!!!

On a different note....

We were at Target on Monday, and this little, old lady and her walker stopped to speak to Ava. (This little old lady was teenie tiny, looked to be in her 80's, and was wearing Nascar sweatpants. I found that to be a little odd....anyone else think that is odd??)
So, the old lady says, "Hey there. How are you?"

Ava looks at her....does a total scan of the little, old lady. And right at the point when I thought Ava was going to try to hide, she looked right at that lady, and said, (LOUD AND PROUD!!) "I just tooted!"

Mortified! I was mortified. And now, every time I remember that my in-laws are coming...... and the panic attack threatens to take over my very well-being......I take deep, calming breaths.....and think back to my precious, beautiful, sweet, lady-like daughter, announcing to the little old lady in Nascar sweatpants and ALL of Target that she had just "tooted". It makes me laugh.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Happy Birthday Eden!

My beautiful girl! I will never forget the day I found out I was having a little girl! I was SO excited! I immediately started thinking about dresses and hairbows.... and pink....and purple.....and yellow....and all other things girlie!

And now you are 8!

You are a brilliant little girl. You blow my mind daily with your insight and sensitivity. Your compassion is SO beyond your years. You are very determined, and persistent. Your creativity continually amazes me. Your sense of humor is....well, HILARIOUS! You are very quick witted!You are cautious, careful. You weigh situations deeply before deciding to act.

You love your fashion. You are a natural born shopper, but always amaze me with your ability to window browse. You never beg. You always point out the things that other family members might like as well. You are SO considerate!

I love you very much, and I am SO proud to be your mom.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Two Weeks and Four Days...

is how long Lane's cast has been off. Two weeks and four days. And after having it on for 8 weeks and 1 day (which was the ENTIRE summer, minus about 10 days, two weeks and four days does not seem like a long time to have been free of that nasty, stinky, smelly, itchy, sweaty, inhibiting cast. Certainly not long enough to have forgotten the six thousand dollar lesson learned. Right???!!!


So......Imagine my surprise when I walked outside today to see what Daddy and the kids were up to. And, I found them involved in the EXACT same activity that resulted in the broken arm in the first place. AYE!


Friday, August 14, 2009

Five Question Friday Blog Hop

Mama M is hosting a fabulous new Blog Hop on Fridays...Five Question Friday. Five randomly, kooky questions about yourself to be answered and linked to her MckLinky each and every Friday! Sounds like fun, right?

Soooo...if you want in on all the fun, copy and paste the following questions, and use the MckLinky on Mama M's blog!!!

1. What is the most embarrassing thing your Mother-in-law has ever said to you? (Thanks Meghan, for the fun question!)

2. What would you say is your favourite thing about YOU? (I just had to spell favorite with a "u"...I like to pretend I'm British or Australian, excuse me while I use the loo...hopefully there is not a que!)

3. Speaking of "loos", toilet paper roll...under or over?

4. What is your most memorable childhood family vacation?

5. If you could choose one super power, what would it be?

1. What is the most embarrassing thing your Mother-in-law has ever said to you? (Thanks Meghan, for the fun question!)

There is a reason I nominated this question. I could seriously write a novel on this subject. My Mother-in-law is one of those people that lacks sensitivity. She doesn't get her feelings hurt about anything, and she doesn't think you should either. I sometimes wonder if she even knows what feelings are! (And she is also missing that part of the brain that tells you when it is time to SHUT UP!) Mother-in-Law has never made it a secret how she feels about how many kids that you (or me....or well....anybody.....because, well, we all know that everyone should share her viewpoints) should "crank out" she likes to call it. It's two. Two is the magic number. Especially, if the two you have are a boy and girl. Because, and I quote..."There ain't no more choices." (If I heard this once from her, I heard it 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 times!)

Shortly after I "cranked out" baby #3 (and girl #2, if you're counting), she INSISTED that I come to a Mother's Day tea at her church. Now, by shortly, I mean, like less than two weeks. I really didn't want to go. In fact, I said no. She asked again. I said I really wasn't ready to get out and do something like that. SOOOOOOO....she called my husband. Who kind of prodded me to go.

I went to this Mother's Day tea at her very-old-fashioned-Southern-Baptist -Church in the sticks, and many members of my husband's extended family were in attendance. Also present, were about 60 people, many teenagers and young girls, including Eden (who was 4.5) and Ava (2 weeks).

We played an ice breaker/get-to-know you game. Simple game. You were given a random topic, and after you introduced yourself, you had to answer your topic with a word that began with your first initial. And then introduce your daughters/granddaughters/mothers...etc.

My Mother in Law's topic was "something you don't like to do". Easy enough, right? I can think of plenty of things I don't like to do.

She says," Hi. I'm Mary Lou. And I don't like tooooooooooooooooooooooo..........."

(This is where she acted like she couldn't think of anything. People started offering suggestions, such as, mow the grass, make dinner, manage bills...and other totally mundane and dull chores.)

The light comes on. She continues...."MAKE LOVE! I don't like to make love. This is my daughter in law, Meghan, and she doesn't have ANY trouble making love. That's why she's got so many kids."

And her response was met with DEAD SILENCE.

And, that, my friends, is the very last Mother's Day tea I will ever attend.

Blame me?

No, I didn't think so. My husband doesn't blame me either.

2. What would you say is your favourite thing about YOU? (I just had to spell favorite with a "u"...I like to pretend I'm British or Australian, excuse me while I use the loo...hopefully there is not a que!)

Besides the fact that I just OOZE awesomeness!??!!

I think that I am spontaneous. That I can roll with the flow (unless my crazy grandma is here. She morphs me into some kind of tense, uptight, unpleasant, crazy person just waiting to snap!), and have fun with it. Not that I don't believe a clean house is important, and my house is pretty clean (I'm serious!!), it doesn't take precedence over my kids. When they are grown, they will remember all of the fun things that we did together as a family(I hope), and not the strict toilet cleaning, vacuuming, laundry schedule that we could never veer from.

Example from my OWN childhood:

My crazy grandmother would let us spend the night on Friday's (yeah....when I was a kid! I don't go have sleepovers now....), and would spend all day Saturday cleaning. She kicked us out of bed at 6:30 in the morning, because she HAD to wash our sheets AT THAT MOMENT. She used and outdoor broom and a bucket of clorox water, and bleached out her garage every Saturday morning. What!? What's that?! You don't bleach your carport and driveway every week?! Yeah....normal people don't! In fact, I am proud to say that I have NEVER bleached my carport and driveway!!! And, of course, there was the vacuuming, and the bathrooms, and the mopping, and the weeding of the flower beds. No chore ever went undone. Not even when the grandkids were there. Sad. That is what I remember from my childhood about visiting her.

My other grandmother had NO boundaries for us at her house. We could take her good silverware to the yard, dig up some dirt, and use her good pots and pans and tupperwares to cook up a mud pie in the yard. We were allowed to spraypaint stuff, make tents with her bed sheets in the backyard, play with the hose, run through the house wet, make smores over a candle, melt crayons on the stove and make our own candles.....You name it....we did it there.
Her house was still relatively clean. But, not a museum.

Which house do I have the good memories from?

I want my kids to remember FUN. Not necessarily CLEAN.

3. Speaking of "loos", toilet paper roll...under or over?

Definitely OVER. Is there any other way?

And it MUST be Kleenex Cottonelle. My tush is totally spoiled now. No other will do.

4. What is your most memorable childhood family vacation?

When I was 14, we went to Daytona Beach for the week. My best friend got to go with us. We swam and boogie boarded, and just had a great week. It was one of those vacations that you were truly sad it was over. Probably because I wasn't the one footing the bill.

5. If you could choose one super power, what would it be?

I would LOVE to be able to travel time and distance in a split second. Is that considered morphing? Teleporting? Whatever you call it, that would be the gitchiest.

Your turn!! You know you want to!!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Peanut Pete??!!

While a recent debate over where we would have dinner...(my mom and I are both indecisive about these, as often as we go out, we have this argument...It does get old. She needs to make a decision!!!), Ava said she wanted to go eat at "the man with the teeth".

HUH? (I actually said this to her.)

She said, "You know!!! Peanut Pete!" In the most cartooniest, dramatic, cutesiest, high pitchiest voice I have ever heard. (Also, kind of implying that I must be an IDIOT if I didn't know who Peanut Pete was.)

I laughed my head off.

And, no. I have no idea who Peanut Pete is. Do you?

I just started a discussion in my Blog Frog forum for you to leave your funny kid stories! 1000 cool points for being the first post-er to respond. HA!

Things I Hate: Insomnia....Why do you curse me so???? guessed it! I could NOT sleep last night. I really wanted to. I knew my body needed it. I was bone-tired. My eyes were burning. My throat was sore (you know.....that sore throat you get when you JUST NEED SLEEP!)

I HATE Insomnia. HATE IT! Unfortunately, the only medication I have ever found that will touch a migraine (for me....I know there a lot of things out there. I have tried them ALL. Unless there is something really, really new.), causes the inability to sleep. I literally feel shaky. Even my eyeballs feel like they are bouncing up and down. Weird feeling. But, sometimes, you have to choose between a migraine or knowing that you will be able to sleep eventually (you know, after the screaming-throbbing-pain-in-your-head and the vomit-until-you-dry-heave leave you unable to hold your head up, and you pass out on the floor by the toilet).

All this is to say, that I have some pretty interesting (ok...maybe not interesting....RANDOM) thoughts run through my head as I beg myself to just quit thinking and fall asleep.

1) I don't like the wallpaper in my kitchen. It is too busy and fruity and country. I guess as far as wallpapers go, it really could be worse, but, it just isn't my style. No wallpaper is my style. I HATE wallpaper. Not sure I have the energy to take on that project, though, especially considering that this is not a house that we own.

2) I really don't get what the big deal is with Jon and Kate Plus 8. Who, exactly watches this show? Parents?! People that wish to be parents? Grandparents? Kids? I don't get the obsession. I have only watched the show about 5 times (out of curiosity as to what all the craziness was...)

Here are my observations(for whatever they are worth...):

a.) I have my own kids that yell, and scream, and squeal, and fight, and tattle, and cry, and run through the house. When I do have time to watch a show for me (that isn't some stupid, boring thing my husband has put on), I do NOT want to see kids behaving poorly. Cutely?! Maybe. And they are cute kids....but, when you have 8 kids....someone is going to be crying, yelling, screaming, squealing, tattling, etc. My kids are in bed, it is quiet in my house(for once), and I am not currently dealing with this problem. Why do I want to watch these people deal with it??!

b.) People that wish to be parents....this should be some pretty good birth control for you.

c.) Why do they recap after every commercial break?? It is a 30 minute show. Do they think that our short term memory is that short??They repeat the same thing over and over and over and over.....Example: Today is Mady's special day. Because today is Mady's special day, ________. *commercial break* So, we are headed out to Mady's special day. A special day is when just one kid gets to spend the day with Mom and Dad doing whatever they want. Today is Mady's turn. *commercial break* We are out enjoying Mady's special day. Today is Mady's special day. Special days are important. It's Mady's special day.

d.) There is NO WAY I would let my kids watch this show. They do not need ANY MORE examples of whining, crying, fighting, tattling, squealing, etc.

I really don't get the obsession with this show. All current issues totally aside.

3. Two toddlers, a 6:30 am wake up, and insomnia are a brutal combination. Even at 3 am, and in a slight delirious state, I dread the coming day.

4. Frozen Hershey kisses could be the PERFECT late night insomnia snack.

5. Wal-Mart (not my favorite place) has been the stage for many embarrassing moments for me. A bathroom emergency that resulted in my accidental use of the men's room, my 3 year old (now 9) disappeared (It was one of the most terrifying moments of my LIFE....) for what felt like an eternity, and just yesterday, my niece couldn't think of anything better to she just kept saying...... "NOISE......NOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIISE......NOISE.....NOOOOOOOOIIIIIIISE!!!!!!" ........ over and over and over and over and over. All the way through the store. ALL. THE. WAY. Everyone in the store had bumped into us somewhere in the store. And giggled as we walked by. And everytime we passed by they thought, "There goes the NOISE kid again." (Yes, I am a mind reader, and that is what they thought. )

6. I watched the movie Eagle Eye the other day. My instinct....good movie. Not really possible. Anyone else seen it? Its basically about a super computer that hacks into every computer in the country (personal computers, government databases, traffic signals, bank data...etc), and then calls people from a cell phone, and uses death threats to manipulate the people into a complicated assassination ploy.

My dad absolutely believes that this is possible. He absolutely believes you could go into Circuit City, and on all the TV's in the showroom, your personal information, birth certificate, social security, bank statements, health records, private emails, digital pictures, blog entries, and social networking site profiles could be displayed by a government conspiracy for all to see.

Crazy. He will NOT get a Facebook. He is horrified that I would have one!! He would DIE if he knew I had a blog. HA!

8. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy that Paula is gone off of American Idol. I cringe every time I have to listen to her make a train wreck of a statement. Most of the time we fast forwarded through her...errrr..... thoughts (I say this very, very loosely.) Even when it is obvious that she has really tried to gather her thoughts, and come up with a cohesive critique.....well, it just sounds like it should be featured on the "This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs." commercial. It would be a great follow up. You know, provide a literal example for all the kids. favorite part is the bad auditions up front. It absolutely cracks me up! I know this is in TOTAL contradiction with my feelings about Paula, but, she was being paid to speak. Really. Its different. I enjoy the rest of the season, as well, but there are always a few that I am just IRRITATED that theywere put through. And that stay on. Like Bird Girl from last year. WHAT WAS THAT????? Again, train wreck! What about you guys? Bad auditions OR the finals?

I guess that is all for the randomness. There probably is more, (I know there is, but, my sleep deprived mind can't remember all the fuzzy details. It is almost, almost, like trying to remember a dream. But, you know, without the sleep. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH sleep. Can't wait for tonight!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Miss Busy Body

Does everyone have a child like this?

You know...a little mama. Into everyone else's business...except her own, of course.

My Miss Busy Body, Eden, will be 8 next week. I figure it's time she had some responsibilities around here, right?

So, I asked her to make her bed. I went to dry my hair. She promptly.....made Ava's bed. But, I didn't know this, until I caught her trying to make up my bed. Did she make up her bed????? NO. Explain this!!

A few days ago, she wanted some Cheerios. Or Honey Loop Oat Rounds(or.... whatever the generic ones are called. You the big bag?? You get my drift!) She asked if she could get some cereal. I said sure! She's almost 8! Right??!! So.... instead of getting the half-full, plastic cereal container....that is perfectly manageable for young hands.....she decided she is going to get the big bag, and fill up the rest of the container. Did I ask her to do that???? NO. About two minutes later (as I was eating my cereal in the dining room, and thinking she was just pouring up her cereal in the kitchen), I heard a gushing spill. Needless to say, I swept up almost half the bag, and threw it away.

This morning, she asked if I was about ready to make her lunch.

"Not yet! Be there in a minute!"

When I got to the kitchen to make her lunch, I found about 6 slices of bread on the floor in a neat pile. The bottom one was the end (who eats that part, anyway??? My mom does....she's weird! But that is a whole 'nother post!!!), so I trashed the end piece, and put the rest back. Again, did I ask her to try to make her own sandwich?? NO!! (She cried all the way to school about my making her sandwich with "floor bread", by the way!)

Ava came down the stairs a few days ago, crying, and said, "Eden spank me." Ummm, WHAT???

She calls Ava "sweetie" and "honey", and her tone is very....condescending. Pious. I'm not sure which. But, I don't call any of them those names, or use that tone. Seriously. So, I am confused by where it comes from. (T.V.? Again, whole 'nother post!)

She is constantly lecturing Lane, on everything from hygiene (which, let me just say, Eden has NO room to talk!!) to his handwriting.

I can't get her to clean up her OWN mess, but she loves getting into other people's messes, and then lecturing them about it!

I could go ON and ON and ON and ON with these examples ALL DAY!!

I really have no problem with her trying to be helpful. Really.

But, do what you are supposed to do, before you take on someone else's job.

And, you are NOT the MAMA!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

ATTN: Toilet Abuser...Additional Rules

Dear Ava:

Thank you SO much for your recent compliance with the bathroom standards set forth here, and here.

Please relay these rules to your cousin. Thank you in advance for your efforts.

In addition, also let Kyla know that:

We do NOT pee anywhere but the toilet. This includes, but is not limited to her pants, the floor, the closet, the carpet, the bathtub, the carseat, the couch, the dining room table, etc.

We do NOT poop anywhere but the toilet.

We do NOT run upstairs to poop in our pants in private.

We do NOT wait until naptime to poop in our naptime diaper as soon as the attending adult leaves the room.

We especially do NOT poop in our pants when Aunt Meghan is the attending adult. We should wait until Mimi gets home from work.

Please be advised that these new policies are effective immediately.


TOO MUCH Family Togetherness...

...has been known to cause nervous breakdowns, the likes of which are not comparable to any other nerve-wrecking event.

My last 2 posts have been vague on the crazy family drama...but I am really starting to believe that my family could be a top contender for America's nuttiest family.

Last week, my mom and 2 year old niece came to visit for two weeks. I am very excited and happy that they are still here.

But the crazy train, in all its glory, pulled into the station on Thursday... when my grandmother(who we call Mamaw) arrived. (Thankfully, she left for home yesterday, and my sanity is slowly-but-surely returning.

It ALL started with directions. She has been bugging my mom for a month to mail her the directions to MY house. Now...we have only moved to this home, in this region, within the last three months, and, the visit we are currently involved in is the first time my mom has been here. Did my grandmother ask ME for directions? NO. But...whatever. How hard is Mapquest??

Well, according to Mamaw...Mapquest was wrong. My mom was wrong. We are ALL wrong and we ALL heard ALL about it for 5 days. I must say....I am amazed that she made it to my exit.

The directions said "Take Exit 44 and then turn LEFT."

Mamaw turned RIGHT.

She still doesn't get what she did wrong. ...

So, we had to go find her. Only she didn't know where she was. Just at a Shell station. I asked if she would go into the gas station and ask for the address(or at the VERY least...the town she was in). NOOOOOOO....she started telling me. You just go down past the interstate and there is a Chevron across the street from me. YOU don't even know where YOU are. How are YOU going to tell ME how to get there??????!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Which would almost make me feel sorry for her. Except for the fact that she was SO belligerent and ANGRY, that she never quit YELLING about the directions being WRONG long enough to see what she did wrong.

My husband thinks we should get her a Garmin. Really? She can't even operate her cell phone! Really??!! It would either (A) go totally unused, or (B) cause her to run into a pole, when the nice lady says turn right NOW. Because she would take it literally ya'll. There would be no room for interpretation.

SO, then she started a North-South-East-West debate. We were driving North. The sun was setting in the west. Mamaw points out that the sun was setting in the west, that we must be going south because the sun was to the left of us, then got angry and said that my built in compass on my Tahoe was WRONG. (I can't even do this story justice in writing, ya'll. You seriously, seriously had to be in my car with me to understand my pain. And my mom's. She had to grow up with this. It really is remarkable that she is sane. This argument continued for about 30 minutes. I was SCREAMING internally. I was really about to pull hairs out of my head.)

Something about my grandmother....she has ALWAYS tried to be secretive about you... behind your back. Especially to your OWN children. For example....she has ALWAYS talked bad about my father to me. My aunt and uncle have recently divorced, and she is ALWAYS trying to milk info out of my cousins(who range in age from 9 to 16!!!) That is just WRONG!!!

So, of course, tradition continues. She bashed my parenting to my mom, and to my kids. Lane has a thin enamel on his baby teeth, and as a result, has had many cavities, including a pulpation and a silver cap. My girls do not have this problem and have never had a cavity. The dentist, who IS qualified and certified to provide HIS opinion of such things to me, has said that this is NOT the result of poor dental hygiene or diet. There are SOME preventative measures that we can take (no juice or sticky foods...which we follow, strictly. I mean, really, I don't want the dental bills!!! That kid is expensive!!!), but he will have cavities in his baby teeth. Thankfully, his permanent teeth seem to be very healthy. She gave Lane a whispered lecture about how his mom should have taken better care of his teeth, and that he had better do a better job of keeping his teeth clean if he doesn't want to have them all pulled out!!

Ummmm....EXCUSE ME??????

She also felt the need to speak with my mother about this as well. Did she ever mention it to me? NO.

Sunday night, my husband wanted to know if a certain shirt that he wanted to wear the next day was clean. It wasn't, so he and I(together) separated the laundry together, and he went and turned on the washing machine, while I started bathing 4 kids(my own 3 and my niece).

Apparently, and I overheard part of the whispered conversation, Mamaw wanted to know if BJ get tired of ALWAYS having to do the laundry. What??!! He started the washing machine. There are many, many more steps involved in doing the laundry. That is just one. I put them in the dryer....and I folded them and put them away. Seems to me, he got off pretty easy. Especially seeing how HE was the one who wanted a load of laundry done in the first place. He had other clean clothes to wear. If he wants to be picky, and has to have his special NIKE sweat and stank drying shirt(that he stunk up on Saturday evening) for Monday morning, then he should start the laundry. He should be thankful I finished the rest of it.

Oh, and I don't know if I have told you, but my family is, according to Mamaw, the unhealthiest family in the world. We don't eat appropriately (even when eating exactly what she eats), and I do not prepare healthy foods (even when preparing recipes that were passed down from her...) and, I am irresponsible for NOT giving my children juice. Even if that IS doctor (well, dentist) recommended. Mamaw says there is NO difference in them having a piece of fruit and a glass of water, than there is in giving them juice. I disagree. There is a cups worth of sugar difference! And even still, if you REALLY believe that, then what problem is it, really, that you have with my giving my children an apple and and some water at snack time. Really??

She pitched a fit (behind my back...but Eden told me) about me having a hair appointment....on a SUNDAY.( *GASP* Sunday is the Lord's Day. We should be resting! Or washing my spoiled husband's laundry...yeah. I am bitter. Are you just catching on to this??? FYI: My hair appointment was EXTREMELY restful. I was rested. My ears were rested....from her incessant preaching!)

Sunday evening, I came home to cook dinner (Yeah, this has to be done, even on Sunday!)
BJ really wanted pizza. For the 3rd day in a row, he asked to go to the Mellow Mushroom. So, I smirked, and said that if my mom and grandmother were agreeable to that, then that would be fine. They both agreed, with my grandmother even saying enthusiastically "I like pizza!" We got to the Mellow Mushroom, and sat down. Starting looking over the menus, and trying to decide which kind of pizza everyone wanted. When Mamaw starts pitching a fit about not being able to eat tomato sauce. WHAT?? WHAT IN THE &^%%$@$#&^@*^$ do you think is on PIZZA!!??? AND WHY ARE YOU JUST NOW MENTIONING THIS???(Especially since I made a cheesy spaghetti on Thursday night, and she asked for the recipe!) So we are suggesting stromboli, trying to explain what that is, she is interrupting....whatever. It was a frustrating experience. Seriously. Frustrating. Experience. The guy at the table next to us was having shots. I was seriously jealous. Very. Jealous. I started to go and sit at the table with him. The lady behind us started talking to my mom about our family, and how nice it must be to have four generations together for a visit. She told us to enjoy our special time together. Ummmmm....NOT POSSIBLE!!

All she did the ENTIRE time she was here was COMPLAIN...COMPLAIN....COMPLAIN. And argue about how right she is...and how WRONG everyone else is.

My mom was commenting about my cousins, and how much they had grown up, and Mamaw actually said that the 9 year old (who probably weighs 70 tall and skinny as a twig) is thick and going to be just as fat and shapeless as her mama. WHAT???!!! She is your grandchild. Inappropriate, much??

This whole post has really been nothing more than a rant. I really had to get that out.

This really is cheaper than therapy.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I'm On the Crazy Train!!

Wondering where I have been??!!

Me TOO!!!

Last week, I was at my mom's all week.

Then, she and my potty-training niece came home with me for two weeks.

My grandmother came in today.

The CRAZY train is moving on down the tracks.

I have politely asked the DRAMA to GO AWAY.

It has NOT LISTENED!!!!!!!

Pray for my sanity. Seriously.

The Jerry Springer show was for real. I now BELIEVE that!!

Real post to come. I know you are waiting on baited breath!!!!!