Last night, Ava did NOT scream, "EDEN POOPED IN THE TUB!"
Eden did NOT yell back, " Na-AH! THAT WAS AVA!"
I did NOT have to clean said poop out of the tub. All of my children are toilet trained, and none of them would be so disgusting as to poop in the bathtub. In the same water that they are sitting in. And sharing with their sister. No one did NOT confess to this heinous offense. My children always admit their faults and ask for forgiveness.
We are NOT in the midst of a very unorganized and disconcerting move. Our current landlord has NOT begun to move in on top of us, with their things piled to the ceiling in our dining room and guest room. My dining room furniture and piano are NOT currently in the middle of my kitchen. The guest room furniture is NOT in the living room. There are NOT boxes everywhere. I am NOT actually going insane. We were NOT told that our new house would not be available for two more weeks. Our landlord does NOT expect to move in this weekend. This is NOT a disaster.
I am NOT in a cooking slump. I have NOT eaten at every fast food restaurant in our general vicinity in the last week. I did NOT set out a pork tenderloin, fully intent on preparing a great meal tonight, only to get a sudden craving for Logan's, and decide to go out at the last minute. I am very disciplined, and always stick to my menu plan. Last minute dining out is NOT a regular part of our routine.
My car is in pristine condition. I am NOT embarrassed at all when teachers open the doors in the pick up line..... and trash falls out. There is NOT trash in my car, therefore it is NOT even possible for trash to fall out. I do NOT think to myself.....everytime I get in the car, "when I get home, we are cleaning this car OUT!" I do NOT put it off another day each and every time we get home. We did NOT have a friend in the car the other day. Lane did NOT tell this friend that if he got hungry, there was an old chicken nugget under the seat. My child would NEVER knowlingly leave a chicken nugget under the seat of the car.