Say What?!?

While we were eating dinner at a nice restaurant tonight, my niece (age 2) proclaimed " I LIKE PORN!!". Very. Very. Loudly.

Intensive speech therapy lessons ensued.

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-Corn!!!

Embarrassing, much? Yes.
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This moving saga is about to make me stark raving mad.

OH! THE DRAMA!

I know that you all have been missing my randomly absurd posts (well, okay....I don't know that you miss them, but I do know that I haven't posted them!), and there is a good reason for that.

We moved in May. It was a long distanced move. It was very un-fun. One never really realizes how much JUNK one has, until one attempts to move it ALL in one trip. Just your husband and you. With three kids underfoot. Lemme say it again....VERY UN-FUN. (I think I may still have a few bruises.)

I think that as time goes by, you forget how bad moving actually is. How time consuming, unorganized, terrible, breakable, miserable, exhausting, etc moving can be. And as the time passes, and you forget how awful it was, you get the idea that you should do it again. (Kind of like child birth.....)

Not enough time has passed!!! Seriously!!

My landlord called me early this week, and let me know that she had lost her job and wants to move back into this house. She aked if we could be out in 30 days.

Frantic house searching has ensued. There is not a lot out there. And I am still frantic. And anxious. And, if I am being honest....REALLY IRRITATED at this point.

Yes, we have a lease....and it says that we live here until mid April. No, we have not violated the contract on our end. But, this is a small family community, and community tensions would run high if we did not move along.

There are no homes available in this school zone, so my poor kids will have to change schools. Again.

But, I think I have found the perfect home. We just can't meet with the owner until Thursday.

So, right now I am majorly stressing about finding a house. After I have that nailed down, then I will stress about the actual moving of the massive mounds of stuff.

And I just unpacked the last box about 2 weeks ago.

*Sigh*

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!!!!

Didn't you enjoy the suspense?!

I guess you have waited long enough!

And the Winner IS:

Result: 11 Powered by RANDOM.ORG

And Number 11 IS:

Keely!!!!

Well deserved, girlie! Hit me up with the color and size of your preference, and I will get that out to you this week!

Some Diem to Carpe

So....we saw "Cloudy....with a Chance of Meatballs" today. Such a cute movie. I laughed several times. But my favorite line was "We got some diem to carpe!". I thought it was hilarious. The kids didn't get it. B-L-A-N-K S-T-A-R-E-S.

So...you guys have some diem to carpe. It's your last chance to enter the Great Pumpkin T-shirt Giveaway!!

Five Question Friday

It's Friday! And I. Am. Excited.

Why, you ask? Well, mainly because I won't have to wake up at 6:30 a.m. tomorrow.

But also because it is time for some Five Question Friday fun, brought to you by the Fantabulous Mama M.



September 18th Questions: (Thanks to Keely, Meghan, and Amanda for their help!)

1. What's your favorite line from a movie?

Well, I would have to say that it is a tie. Both lines are from the same movie.

" I carried a watermelon."

and

" Nobody puts Baby in the corner!"

Dirty Dancing was my favorite movie ever. And, I can probably quote the movie. (But I won't.)

I think Patrick Swayze was my first love.(Of course, Peyton Manning is a close 2nd!)

2. What "group" did you belong to in high school? Goths, jocks, preps, drama, nerds?

Tough question! I tried to be friendly to everyone. I was in the "smart classes", so I was mostly a nerd. I wouldn't call myself a prep...those were the snotty girls...

I was in chorus and drama...but I was definitely not a goth, but I had many friends who were.....

But mostly, I just mingled with everyone.


3. If you had $1000 just for yourself what would you spend it on?

(We are really focusing on our Dave Ramsey plan, so right now, I would pay off debt with it...but for this exercise, let's pretend we are debt free....I WISH!!)

I am really wanting to get a bar top table that seats 8 for my breakfast area.


4. What was your favorite childhood cartoon?

Too many to name!

Looney Tunes, Pinky and the Brain, and Animaniacs

5. What kind of sleeper are you? Back? Tummy? Side? Sprawler?

I sleep in a morphed position...somewhere between stomach and side. Always facing the edge of the bed. Always on the right side of the bed. And I have the best pillow ever made. Contoured. Memory foam.

Ummmmmm....I will see you bloggy peeps later....my pillow is calling my name!!!

There you have it! Join in the fun!!

Sheer Disbelief!

In case you missed it, Keely accepted my dare.

She re-wrote the lyrics to a song, video-ed herself singing it, and then actually posted it to her blog. Make sure you check it out.

Make sure you sign up for a chance to win the Pumpkin T-Shirt giveaway here.

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Allergic to Mornings

I have decided that I must be allergic to mornings. Especially mornings that begin at 6:30 a.m.

It absolutely does not matter what time we go to bed. My body seriously dislikes 6:30 a.m.

My mood is further soured by kids that refuse to get up and get dressed peaceably.

I have written a letter to the school board requesting that school begin at 10:00 a.m. This time frame would work better for my family. I am sure they will get right on that.

Maybe we should all write letters. Do you think that would work?? Petition?? Protest??

Something's gotta give!

It's the Great Pumpkin Giveaway!!!

Update: Comments are now closed. (Unofficially.....because I am not computer literate enough to actually close them.)

Winner will be posted tomorrow afternoon. Good luck!

I LOVE Halloween! I love the costumes, the candy,the adorable kids in their costumes, the candy, the parties, the decorations, and did I mention THE CANDY!!!


In the spirit of my love of Halloween, I will be giving away this:

An Adorable Pumpkin Applique T-Shirt (Adorable Child is not included. Sorry!)!!!

Need a closer look??

SOOOOOO.......wanna win??

(The shirt will be available in all sizes, and in black, white, and purple....with or without the bow.)

Here's how to gain a few entries:

1. Leave me a comment telling me who your adorable kiddos will be dressing up as for Halloween this year.

2. Blog about this giveaway, link back to my blog, then comment and let me know about it.

3. Re-write the lyrics to any pop song, and post either in the comments section, or in your blog, with a link back to here. Be creative. Make it all Halloween-y. Humor counts double. (For 10 bonus entries, VLOG yourself singing your new song....it's a dare, Keely!)

4. Tell me what your favorite candy is, and how you manage to get your kids to share their stash.


I am out of creative entry ideas....so, there you go. At least 4 ways to enter. Entries will be accepted until Midnight on Saturday, Sept. 19. When the clock strikes Midnight, all entries may turn into a pumpkin. (Or not.)

I am keeping my fingers crossed that someone posts a video of their song. It could be the next sensation!!

And meanwhile, I will be brainstorming for new ways to get my kids to share some of their candy.

Manning Mania

There has been a long standing inside joke between my husband and I. Some of our close friends are in on it as well, and tonight, I have decided to let my bloggy friends in on it too. Aren't you lucky???!!

A while back, BJ and I were watching SNL, and Peyton Manning was the host. One word.....HI-LAR-I-OUS. He was hysterical. Have you seen the sketch where he is in the locker room at half time, the team is losing,and he starts dancing? SOOOOOOOO funny. (Either that, or it was past midnight, and I was so tired that I was delirious, and thus everything was funny.)

I then headed off to dream land. (Can you see where this is headed?) I dreamt that I went on a date with Peyton. Completely innocent. We had dinner at a five star restaurant....it was a black tie affair. And where else would the second half of a black tie date take place??????

A softball field of course! I was in the outfield....I think Peyton was the pitcher. Yes, yes....in our formal wear.

Weird, I know.

And, so the next morning, I woke up, and in my still-sleepy-delirium, told my husband about my dream. He is still laughing. Two. Years. Later.

So, today, during the Colts game, BJ was teasing me about my boyfriend. I was wearing an old white T-Shirt. I picked up a marker, and drew a BIG 18 on my chest.

Whose laughing now??????

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Tonight, I started a Bible study titled 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter.

I am really excited about this study. It is basically about debunking all of the lies that our culture is throwing at our girls regarding body image, sexuality, and the like.

This week is about redifining beauty. About how our culture has placed a higher priority on vanity than it has on virtue.

How much value do we place on our appearance? What are we teaching our daughters about inner beauty? Are our lives reflecting to our daughters that our looks are more important than our hearts?

I can't wait to delve more into this. My goal is to raise virtuous girls. How quickly even young girls become materialistic and superficial! The lesson tonight was eye-opening, and I can only imagine what the rest of this series is going to be like.

Just Weirdness

Weirdness.

Weirdness is within our gene pool. (Obviously from my husband's side of the family. Obviously!)

Last night, while seated at the dinner table, my shirtless son was sporting some strange looking marks on his arms. (Arms....as in plural. Both arms.)

Right away, I recognized what these marks were.

But, I asked anyway.

"Lane, what are those marks on your arm?"

My husband says, "Those look like......"

I shooshed him, quickly. I wanted Lane to answer.

Lane says that his arm was itching, and that his fingernails were too short, so he used his teeth to scratch his arm.

I told him that I wasn't buying it.

He maintained his story. We had a nice chat about lying. (Biggest NO-NO in my book. Do NOT lie to me. You will be in SO much more trouble for lying!!!!)

So, he finally admits that he was sucking on his arm. Why? I ask.

Still, because it was itching, he says.

So, I asked if it helped to make the itch stop.

He says "No."

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! I didn't think so!

So then, WHY ON EARTH DID YOU SUCK ON YOUR OTHER ARM??!!!???!?!?!?!?!?!?!

We never really did get to the bottom of it. And Lane has a hickey on each bicep.

Total weirdness.

Attn:Toilet Abuser....You Strike Again

Dearest Ava,

I have given you some time to meet compliance standards. You have, as of yet, refused to follow regulations; therefore, I feel we must revisit some of the Toilet Guidelines.

It is never acceptable to make a trip to a public restroom......just to see what it looks like. It looks like a restroom. And it is filled with germs. The public restroom is for emergencies ONLY.

(Emergency = Your internal organs are going to explode, or it is coming out....like it or not.

Emergency does NOT = I just went to the bathroom at home 5 minutes before we got to the restaurant to have a nice meal, but I would like to see the bathroom, try the toilet out, but not actually go, forcing my mother to breathe in the noxious public restroom fumes that render her meal untouchable due to nausea.)

Please do NOT announce to the entire restaurant that you need to poop. No one needs to know. No one wants to know.

And WHY can't you HOLD IT TIL WE GET HOME!!!??????!!!!

Signed,

Nauseous in the Ladies' Room (A.K.A.- Your Mom)

Where are YOUR PARENTS??!!??!!!

I had one of those moments today. You know, the kind where your child publicly humiliates you SO BADLY that you would like to step away from them, look around unassumingly, and then say (loudly, so that all around you can hear), "WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?!?"

We were in the book store, looking at some books (duh!), when a lady from our new church walked up. (How long I have known this lady = about a month.... I will never be able to erase what happened next from her memory. This preempts ALL first impressions.) She says "Hey!"
She looked over at Ava and said....."How are you doing, little lady?!"

Any normal kid would either:

A. Mumble "Fine.'

B. Chatter excitedly about being in the bookstore.

C. Hide behind their mother.



Not my child.

My child promptly dropped trou'.

Oh yes, in the middle of the book store, in front of a mere acquaintance, Ava pulled her pants and panties down.....Full MOON!

I was so frantic to pull her pants back up, that they got stuck. It felt like 10 whole minutes standing there trying to pull up my daughter's pants.

Embarrassing. Humiliating. Mortifying. Hilarious.

She will NEVER live this down.

TGIF!: Five Question Friday Frenzy!!

Here we go, friends! Our Five Question Friday (with a Thursday night posting, to facilitate a fellow mama, who's sweet little Belli is having surgery Friday)!!

So...the rules?

Copy and paste the questions to your blog, answer them, grab the MckLinky Blog Hop code, link up and voila (I soooo wish I could put that cute little accent above the 'o'...or would it be the 'i'?)!! You're hoppin' along with us!A special thanks to Sandy, Megan Silva and Keely for this week's questions!!

September 4th Questions:

1. The clothing outfit you remember from childhood and why?

I had a white top and stirrup pants that were black with white polka dots . They were my favorite!(Ya know....in the fourth grade. I wouldn't be caught dead in them now.) Until my grandmother washed them with a red shirt....and the white polka dots had a pinkish tint. I was really upset. My grandmother's suggestion: Get a pink shirt to wear with them. PSSSHH! They didn't look like they were supposed to be pink. They looked like someone hadn't laundered them correctly. Even at age 9, I was aware of that! (Laundry aficionado in the making!!!!) And I was NOT going to just wear them with a pink shirt.

2. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a pianist. I told my parents when I was 5 that I was going to be the church pianist. As I grew up, that never really changed. I went to school as a music major.....I never finished my degree, but I did become a church pianist....for 8 years.

3. What is your must have for Fall?

Hmmmm......well, our weather doesn't really change for fall here. And I am a year round flip flop kind of girl. But...I am a jacket, sweater, coat fanatic. Must have several, as I wear them indoors almost everywhere we go, and can't repeat too often. Just got a really cute grey jacket with double buttons and bell sleeves. Love it!

4. If money were no object, how many kiddos would you really have?

When I was younger, I always wanted to have 7 children (like the Von Trapp family....Sound of Music??) I would definitely have a few more. I think the questions should really read, "If time were no object......." I want to make sure that I am able to spend one on one quality time with each of my kids. And the more there are, the harder it is to do. I think I would just like to freeze time......right where it stands, and keep my kids the ages they are forever.

I do feel led to adopt. And probably will, when the time is right.

5. The best part of your birthing story (other than the beautiful child at the end).

"I'll tell you what the worst part was!" (My friend's little boy says this.....every DAY when she asks him what the best part about school was. I think it's hilarious. A pessimist at 5!)

Keep in mind that no drugs were used in the birthing of any of these babies (making these offenses atrocious!)!!!

Birth Number 1:

I had a really mean nurse. Really mean. I was 19, scared, and had no idea what to expect. She waited until my baby had crowned before she called a doctor. It then took the doctor an hour to get there, (with her screaming at me "DON'T PUSH!!!"...... the whole time) and it was not my doctor. So.....strange doctor walks in. Says NOTHING. To anyone. And proceeds to give me an episiotomy. Still.....saying nothing. Not to me. Not to my husband. Not to the crabby old nurse.

The baby was 5 pounds 14 ounces. Not a big baby. Not a big head. Still don't know WHY he felt I needed an episiotomy, as I didn't with the other two, and amazingly NO RIPS.

Just rudeness. Nurse was rude......doctor was rude. And even when I am up in stirrups....panting and pushing.....some prerequisite etiquette should still apply.

Birth Number 2:

Immediately following the natural birth of our beautiful daughter, as she lay on my belly in all of her slimy glory.....and as the placenta has not yet made it's appearance........(so, like within 30 seconds).....................my husband says to me......"Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?!!"

Nuff said.

Birth Number 3:

As the baby was making its descent, crowning, and then coming out, a WAY TOO PEPPY nurse sang "Happy Birthday". The. WHOLE. TIME. For about 20 minutes. It was torturous. And I wanted to do bodily harm to her.

I appreciate the gesture, but, I just wish she had waited until after the birth to serenade us.

FabulouSplash-ity!

Oh, the FABULOUS-NESS! The awesome-ness! The Excitementationalness!! The Splashilocity!



(I am completely aware that I am making up words. I am allowed to do that now! Because Iam an AWARD WINNING BLOGGER! Seriously!)



Both Mama M at My Little Life and Keely over at Mannland5 have bestowed the greatest honor on me today: The Splash Award!!







The Splash Award is given to alluring, amusing, bewitching, impressive, and inspiring blogs.

When you receive this award you must: Put the logo on your blog/post. Nominate up to 9 blogs which allure, amuse, bewitch, impress or inspire you. Let them know that they have been splashed by commenting on their blog. Remember to link to the person from whom you received your Splash Award.

The nominees for "The Splash Award" are: (channeling my inner Ryan Seacrest!)

A Day in the Life of a Girl Named Kimber

Mama4Real

Crazy Days......Sleepless Nights

The Life and Times of Mommy

Motherhood.....Unscripted

Be a Hip Chick



I would totally nominate Mama M. and Keely again....but they have already won....SO.......

Thanks again, girls!

Make sure you guys enter to win Mama M's Adorably Fabulous Tutu Giveaway! (Or....don't.....Cuz I really want to win!....Just kidding! Go check it out!


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P.S.- I have been SUCH a bad blogger this week. My mom is in town, and I have neglected all responsibilities for the week. No laundry or bathroom cleaning for me, ya'll! This week has been full of shopping and pedicures and fun! (Don't be jealous! I will pay for it next week with some nasty bathrooms and a Mountain O' Laundry.......*shudder*)


Oh........ and "Seacrest OUT!"