To Grandmother's House We Go: The Pros and Cons Edition

The kids and I are leaving tomorrow to visit my grandmother for a few days. There are Pros and Cons that accompany this visit (as with just about any situation that we experience). here are a few of them listed here for your viewing pleasure:


Pro- Plenty of good homestyle cooking, including a full 3-4 course breakfast.

Con- A meal is barely complete before we have to have the next meal fully planned and prepped. We may, literally, spend ALL DAY in the kitchen. Breakfast is served as soon as my grandmother is awake. And if you aren't awake yet, you will be, as her kitchen turns into the set of "Bring in the noise, Bring in the Funk." (For those of you who don't know what this is, it is a Broadway musical in which they use found objects(i.e.-pots and pans and spoons and trash cans, etc.) to create intricate and LOUD rythms.) I have already endured two phone calls spanning 2.5 hours discussing what we do and do not like to eat. I have assured her that she does NOT need to go to any trouble, as we are not picky, and will eat whatever is served. But, that is not her nature. Instead, she is obsessed with menu preparations, and has already been to the grocery store(after she called my mother and questioned her about our dietary preferences). I can guarantee that in our 3 day visit, we will need to go back to the grocery store (my favorite place!!!)at least once.




Pro- My grandmother's house is immaculately clean at all times.

Con- Any time that is not spent in meal discussions, planning, preparations, or eating is spent cleaning the house. Take caution while you are eating, because if you remove your eyes from your plate, it may disappear. Forget about your drink. If you don't have your hand on it, it will never be seen again. Don't get too engrossed in any sporting event or television show of any kind, because there is no DVR, and during the climax of the show is always, always, the perfect time to vaccuum. We won't be there on Saturday this time, but, if we were, we would need to be up at 6:00 A.M. in order for the sheets to go into the washing machine. (Apparently, she doesn't put sheets in the dryer. They have to go on the clothesline.) When you finish showering, first, dry off with your towel. Then, you must dry off the walls and doors of the shower, the shampoo and conditioner bottles, and the soap. (Don't you do this at home?....NO. I didn't think so.)



Pro-My grandmother is very wise and knowledgeable about the Bible.

Con- My grandmother will take any and every opportunity to preach a sermon to you. Only usually it does not pertain to you. Be very cautious about asking about how "so and so" is doing. Because you will not only hear how "so and so" is doing, but, you will hear about what they are doing wrong, what they should be doing, why they shouldn't be doing whatever it is that they may or may not be doing, why their lives would be SO much better if_____ and so the story goes. Also, be very cautious about responding to her questions about "so and so", because, well, the same rules apply. (This often makes me wonder what she says about me to others....)



Pro- The overnight stay in my grandmother's guest bed will make me miss my own mattress and I will be sooooooooooo thankful to be back in it. My husband and I hav been discussing a new mattress. Sometimes a view of the "horrible" makes you appreciate the "so-so" just a little bit more.

Con- I seriously, seriously think that my grandmother's mattresses are stuffed with hardened lava. I have never felt a substance harder. She likes a firm mattress. And my back will be screaming!



Pro- My grandmother is very attentive to details. She wants to make sure that you have everything you need, and that everything in her home is in order.

Con- "Attention to detail" is another way of saying "anxiety ridden". She is pretty tense. Which, in turn makes me tense. Things that would be "no big deal" at home are MAJOR at her house. (i.e.- There is no orange juice, and, someone asks for orange juice. She panics over having no orange juice. The person who requested it is perfectly fine with drinking milk or water. But, I can promise you that she is NOT fine with that, and someone will be going to buy some orange juice. After a prolonged and painful discussion. Upon returning with the juice, it is discovered that the person who originally requested the o.j. has long since finished their glass of milk and moved on with their life. At my house, I would say, "Nope. No juice. How about milk?" And life would go on. But the clock will stop until the orange juice has been purchased and stocked in her refrigerator.)


I am looking forward to visiting her, but as with any vacation, I will also be very glad to get home. Absence makes the heart grow fonder!!