ATTN: Toilet Abuser

Dear Toilet Abuser,

The purpose of the these memos is to teach proper toilet etiquette. Therefore, I must insist that you may NEVER, NEVER , NEVER place a piece of used toilet paper in a box to give as a gift. This does not send a good message to the recipient of such a gift. Along those lines, it is equally inappropriate for you to tell the recipient of such a gift that they may not put it in the toilet, tear it, or flush it. That is, indeed, the only proper way to handle used toilet paper. While I know that your grandmother does appreciate your artwork, used toilet paper does not fall under that category. Let's stick with computer paper and markers.

In addition, please make sure that you are hitting the toilet, and not the floor when you are using the bathroom.

In this establishment, we flush every time the toilet is used. This is not negotiable. Your skills in this area have been lacking to say the least.

The bathtub is NOT an acceptable alternate to the toilet.

The sink is NOT an acceptable alternate to the toilet.

All previous rules, regulations, and memos STILL apply.

Thank you,

Your Mother