Milk Police

Eden has taken it upon herself to keep tabs on each family member's milk usage. She is paticularly interested in Lane's milk habits. Every morning as I am trying to get ready for the day (read: gone back to bed for "just a minute"), Eden comes in and starts whine-yelling (yes, the combo is possible. And ANNOYING!) that Lane is "just wasting all the mi-yulk!!".

See, in her mind, any milk that goes to her brother is wasted. Her definition of wasted is not the same as mine. My definition of wasted milk would be that someone poured it down the drain. Wasted milk would expire before it was used. Wasted milk would be spilled all over the floor.

So, again, I told her "I DON'T CARE! Mind your own business, and make sure you don't waste any of the milk that you poured by not drinking it."

Oh, yes. Did I forget to mention that the milk policeman (er.....police-girl) is notorious for pouring milk and NOT drinking it?

Very ironic....

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me Monday! This is the place where we do NOT let it all hang out! Visit MckMama to see what she has NOT been up to!

Last night, Ava did NOT scream, "EDEN POOPED IN THE TUB!"

Eden did NOT yell back, " Na-AH! THAT WAS AVA!"

I did NOT have to clean said poop out of the tub. All of my children are toilet trained, and none of them would be so disgusting as to poop in the bathtub. In the same water that they are sitting in. And sharing with their sister. No one did NOT confess to this heinous offense. My children always admit their faults and ask for forgiveness.

We are NOT in the midst of a very unorganized and disconcerting move. Our current landlord has NOT begun to move in on top of us, with their things piled to the ceiling in our dining room and guest room. My dining room furniture and piano are NOT currently in the middle of my kitchen. The guest room furniture is NOT in the living room. There are NOT boxes everywhere. I am NOT actually going insane. We were NOT told that our new house would not be available for two more weeks. Our landlord does NOT expect to move in this weekend. This is NOT a disaster.

I am NOT in a cooking slump. I have NOT eaten at every fast food restaurant in our general vicinity in the last week. I did NOT set out a pork tenderloin, fully intent on preparing a great meal tonight, only to get a sudden craving for Logan's, and decide to go out at the last minute. I am very disciplined, and always stick to my menu plan. Last minute dining out is NOT a regular part of our routine.

My car is in pristine condition. I am NOT embarrassed at all when teachers open the doors in the pick up line..... and trash falls out. There is NOT trash in my car, therefore it is NOT even possible for trash to fall out. I do NOT think to myself.....everytime I get in the car, "when I get home, we are cleaning this car OUT!" I do NOT put it off another day each and every time we get home. We did NOT have a friend in the car the other day. Lane did NOT tell this friend that if he got hungry, there was an old chicken nugget under the seat. My child would NEVER knowlingly leave a chicken nugget under the seat of the car.

Five Question Friday

THIS..... is Five Question Friday. A big thank you to our host, Mama M.

1. What is the one thing that you reach for the most in a day (excluding phones, computer or children's butts for spankings)?

Diet Coke. Must have Diet Coke. I cannot function without it. I have severe withdrawals without it.

2. What is the farthest you have been from home?

Hawaii. And I WISH that Hawaii was home. Or that the lack of stress I felt while I was there was also present at home.

3. What kind of cell phone do you have? Love it or hate it?

I have an LG Voyager. Touch screen, flips up for a full keyboard, TV capable, web capable.
I love the phone. Not loving the service.

4. Coke or Pepsi?

UHHH....COKE! Definitely, definitely coke. My husband gets annoyed with me because I refuse(or complain a lot about it!) to eat at a restaurant that serves Pepsi products.

Let's compare:

Pepsi is to coke

as

Raw sewage is to Evian.

Nuff said.

5. If you could go back and change anything about your wedding day, what would it be and why?

Any one thing??? OH SO MANY THINGS!!!!

Let me paint the picture of my day. The soloist's tape(yes, tape....) messed up and started screeching. The Best Man fell down the stairs. Our unity candle fell off the stand as we were trying to light it. My husband picked it up, lit it himself and stuck it back on the stand. The flower girl kept throwing her basket down the aisle and chasing after it. My flowers were not what I had ordered. The bridemaid dresses were ugly. Even I hated them. AND....my brother(who was 16) got into a fist fight in the parking lot at the reception.

We need a wedding day do-over.

Good thing our wedding day did not set the tone for our marriage. In the scheme of things, your wedding day is just one day. The days and weeks and months and years that follow are what really matter.

Girl Crazy

My son told me last night that his friend has a girlfriend. And that he kisses her. And that he has kissed 4 other girls. And that he likes Eden. Oh my! These kids are 9!!(And if that pervy little kid brings his pervy little lips anywhere near my daughter.........)

And then Lane asks me how old he should be to have a girlfriend. As I pulled my heart out of my stomach and gently placed it back in my chest....I asked him if he knew of a girl that he liked. He said no......he was just wondering if he was supposed to have a girlfriend, since his friend had one.

We had a talk about how we don't have to do things just because other people are doing them. And then I asked him why people have girlfriends or boyfriends. He answered the way I hoped he would....to see if you want to marry that person. So I asked if he was ready to get married....

I am SO not ready for this phase. I know he is 9, and it is coming quickly......but I am SO not ready.

Some days I want to freeze time. Right where it stands. I want to stay in these moments with my kids forever, preserving their innocence, guarding their hearts and minds.
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Meanwhile, back at the ranch(or.....BJ's softball game), Ava was busy cheering her daddy on. "Catch the ball, Daddy!" and "Hit the Ball, Daddy!" and "YAY DADDY!"

The batter popped up the ball. Another player (not Daddy) caught the ball. The following conversation/cheer then took place:

Ava: "GO DADDY!!!"

Eden: "That wasn't daddy."

Ava: "OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh! DADDY STINKS! Cuz he TOOTED!" (Top of her lungs)

Lane: " Ava! You cannot say tooted here. There are Christians around us!"

Me: "Lane, aren't you a Christian?"

Lane: "Oh."

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On the moving front, we have found a fabulous house. We have signed a lease. We are packing boxes. It is a nightmare. The end. (For now.)